Would like to see your comments on the following article giving a woman’s
perspective on a possible comeback of the mustache. What is your opinion about
this posting and be sure to check out some of the other articles when you are
done.
Comeback of the Mustache? I Don’t Think so
There is an ugly rumor circulating about the return of the 1970s
mustache-wearing male finding his way to the 21st century. Is this a backlash to
the metro-sexual era? Is this a way for the “regular guy” to reclaim his
masculinity? Is this a way of making food stuck to a man’s face acceptable?
As a single woman, I strongly object to this horrific trend.
I’m not
going to throw around careless accusations against facial hair. That just
wouldn’t be right. Rather, my approach will be fair and balanced. You know, the
reporting style made famous by Fox News.
For starters, the mustache reminds
me of 1970s porn. As a kid, I wasn’t always able to recognize the vital body
parts through the scrambled Playboy Channel, but I could always tell if the man
was wearing a mustache. Not a sexy scene, my friends.
Sticking with the 1970s
theme, my father sported a mustache back then, and I don’t want to date a man
that resembles him. That’s taking the Father Complex theory way too far.
Most
importantly, I have very sensitive skin. In fact, so sensitive that I once went
out on a date with a man that had facial hair and after three hours of lip
smacking, my skin became so irritated that I developed a rash. Sure, you can
make the argument that the rash was due to the marathon-long make-out session,
not the mustache per se, but this isn’t a time to be logical. Let’s keep the
focus of this post where it belongs, on the ill-conceived return of the
mustache.
I’m not prejudiced; I’m against all mustaches.
Pencil mustache?
No way. It reminds me of John Waters.
The toothbrush? Um, no. Charlie
Chaplin donned that one for a reason: it’s funny-looking.
Horseshoe-style
mustache? Nice try. Hulk Hogan can get away with it is because wrestlers are
cartoon-like.
Magnum, P. I. mustache? Oh, now you’re playing dirty (I like
that), but chances are you don’t look like Tom Selleck. Psssssst. If you share
his rugged good looks, e-mail me your digits.
Guys, take it from me. I won’t
steer you wrong. There is a reason the mustache trend died a slow death. Here’s
a hint: men aren’t supposed to be walking buffets, able to select from an
assortment of late-night snacks trapped in their hippie lips.
I’m just
sayin’.
auria cortes is a writer, artist, and wannabe guitar player. To read and
comment on her life observations go to www.auriacortes.com
Technorati Tags: Humor, Joke, Funny Story, Satire, Sarcastic Humor
